A young lady who just secured employment at United Bank for Africa (UBA), chaired by Mr. Tony Elumelu, CFR, has been trending on social media following her encounter with the UBA Chairman. The incident happened during the induction of 5,000 new staff hired by UBA, where the young lady had the opportunity to interact with the UBA Chairman.
She addressed him informally as “Tony,” prompting Elumelu to correct her and tell her that she could call him “Mr. Elumelu” or “TOE.” That little exchange got me thinking. Tony Elumelu is one of the most recognisable names in Nigeria’s banking and business circles. He is a banker, economist and entrepreneur whose influence goes beyond Nigeria.
He is popularly known as TOE, from his initials: Tony Onyemaechi Elumelu. The T is for Tony, the O for Onyemaechi and the E for Elumelu. What interested me was not really what the young lady wanted to ask him. It was the fact that she called him “Tony.” Now, before anybody accuses me of being old-fashioned, let me explain. In many Western countries, particularly in the corporate world, it is perfectly normal to call your boss by his first name. A chairman can be John.
A managing director can be Peter. The CEO can be Tony. Nobody sees anything wrong with it. Some companies even make it a rule. I recall, for instance, that at Interswitch Group, staff address everyone, including senior executives, by their first names. Its founder, Mitchell Elegbe, is simply “Mitchell” to members of staff. Nobody needs to call him “Mr. Chairman” or “Sir.”
That is the culture of the organisation. And there is nothing wrong with that. But not every organisation has that culture. In Nigeria, particularly among the older generation, age and seniority still mean something. A younger person calling an older person by his first name, especially somebody who is his senior in age or position, can easily be interpreted as disrespect.
Unless, of course, the older person has asked you to do so. That, I believe, was where this young lady got it wrong. I don’t think she meant any disrespect. She probably belongs to a generation that has grown up in a very different environment from the one many of us grew up in. Gen-Zs see this kind of informality everywhere. They see it in multinational companies. They see it on social media.
They see it in movies. They see young people talking to senior executives as if they were their mates. So she probably thought nothing of saying, “Good morning, Tony.” Unfortunately for her, TOE does not subscribe to that aspect of what he described as “Oyinbo life.” He corrected her, but he did so politely. I thought that was fair. Watching the encounter, however, I felt sorry for the young lady. I hope she did not lose the opportunity she has just got because of that little mistake.
She was probably nervous and trying to make a good impression. She may simply have been doing what she had learnt from the corporate world around her. I don’t blame her. And I don’t blame TOE either. What happened is a reflection of the society we live in today. We are borrowing a lot from Western culture. Some of what we borrow is good. Some of it is not.
And sometimes we copy things without understanding the culture behind them. Calling your boss by his first name may be perfectly acceptable in London or New York. It may even be company policy. But that does not mean it will automatically work in Lagos. There are some things about our culture that may look old-fashioned today, but they are still part of who we are. Respect for elders is one of them.
I learnt this myself in a rather embarrassing way. I remember meeting His Excellency, Dr. Chris Ngige, former Governor of Anambra State, at the Murtala Muhammed Airport in Lagos. He was in the company of then-Senator Bola Ahmed Tinubu and Chief Segun Osoba. I walked up to them, greeted them and shook Ngige’s hand. I then turned to shake the hands of Tinubu and Osoba.
The looks on their faces told me immediately that I had probably done something wrong. They were nothing short of disgusting looks. If I were to interpret what was going through their minds at that moment, I would probably have concluded that they were saying: “Who is this disrespectful fellow?” It dawned on me that what was perfectly normal to me as an Igbo man was not necessarily the accepted way of showing respect in another cultural setting.
I had been brought up to greet my elders properly. A handshake was not something I regarded as disrespectful. But I realised that other cultures have their own ways of expressing respect and deference. That experience taught me a lesson: respect may be universal, but the way you show it is not. In some cultures, a younger person is not expected to shake an elder’s hand casually.
In some, you are expected to stand when an elder walks into the room. In some places, calling an older person by his first name is perfectly normal. In others, it can be regarded as insolence. So, if the white man calls his boss “John,” his professor “David” or even his president by his first name, that is their culture. We should not assume that everything they do must automatically become acceptable in our own environment.
This is why I would advise our young people, particularly members of Gen-Z, to err on the side of respect. When you meet an older person or somebody occupying a position of authority, address him or her as Sir, Ma, Mr. Chairman, Doctor, Engineer, Barrister or whatever title is appropriate. If the person says, “Please, call me Tony,” then call him Tony.
You are safe. But why start with “Tony” when you don’t know whether Tony wants you to call him Tony? That, to me, is the simple lesson from this episode. Interestingly, the young lady did not argue with Elumelu after he corrected her. She simply changed her address to “Mr. Elumelu” and continued with her question. I would have preferred her to say, “Sorry, sir,” before proceeding, but perhaps she was too nervous or embarrassed to think of that at the time.
Whatever the case, I hope she was not penalised for it. This should not become another opportunity to attack Gen-Zs either. Their world is different from ours. They communicate differently. They work differently. They relate differently. Some of the changes they are bringing into the workplace are actually good. But there are certain things they also need to learn from the older generation.
Modernity should not mean throwing away manners. You can be confident without being disrespectful. You can be modern without abandoning your culture. You can be informal without becoming familiar. And you can embrace the good things coming from the Western world without copying everything wholesale. There is also something for the older generation to learn here. We should remember that some of these young people are not deliberately being rude.
Sometimes, they simply do not know. So, correct them. Teach them. Don’t humiliate them. That is why I am glad TOE corrected this young lady politely. He told her how he preferred to be addressed and allowed her to continue. There was no need to embarrass her further. I only hope the incident did not affect her employment prospects. After all, she was looking for a job. She was not trying to overthrow the culture. (c) Fred Chukwuelobe, fnipr
