“Répondez s’il vous plaît” (RSVP), a French phrase meaning “Please respond,” is a widely recognised social custom used on invitations. It poses a challenge for hosts and event planners in Nigeria. The expectation is simple: guests should indicate whether they will attend an event so the host can plan appropriately.
In many parts of the world, particularly in Western cultures, this practice is taken seriously. It allows the host to prepare for the right number of attendees, avoiding either a shortage of provisions or unnecessary waste.
However, in Nigeria and many other African contexts, the RSVP concept often encounters cultural barriers that make it less effective. Let’s briefly explore the dynamics of RSVP and how cultural differences, particularly in Nigerian social etiquette, affect its usage and expectations.
The RSVP convention has its roots in French aristocracy, where social functions were highly organised, and meticulous planning was necessary. Whether a small dinner, naming ceremony, wedding or a grand ball, knowing the exact number of attendees was essential for seating arrangements, meals, and overall logistics. This practice has since been adopted worldwide and is particularly common for formal events and exclusive social gatherings. In its simplest form, RSVP requests a response, either confirming or declining an invitation. The intent is to give the host a clear picture of how to prepare, from catering to seating and other event logistics.
In Nigeria, however, the situation is quite different. The RSVP culture is not as deeply embedded in social interactions. Nigerian social life is vibrant and often marked by spontaneous participation. Many people prefer to leave their options open, making it difficult for them to confirm attendance ahead of time. This fluidity in social engagements often leads to the failure of invitees to respond to RSVPs, creating challenges for the host. Several factors account for this.
In Nigerian culture, weddings, birthdays, and religious ceremonies – are often seen as community affairs. Invitations are usually extended informally, and the expectation of attending without prior confirmation is common. Additionally, many Nigerian families have large social circles. Therefore, many people, including those not explicitly invited, may appear when an event is announced. This communal nature of social gatherings can blur the boundaries of formal RSVPs, where it’s assumed that everyone is welcome.
The Nigerian concept of hospitality differs significantly from that of Western cultures. In many parts of Nigeria, hosts pride themselves on being able to welcome unexpected guests, often going the extra mile to ensure that even those who didn’t RSVP are adequately catered for. This level of hospitality is deeply embedded in the culture, where “the more, the merrier” is a typical attitude. Hosts are usually prepared for an overflow of guests, rendering the RSVP system somewhat ineffective.
In Nigeria, last-minute decisions regarding attendance are made every day. Many invitees base their final decision on whether to attend an event or how their schedules turn out on the day. This indecisiveness could be due to traffic, unpredictable commitments, or the nature of Nigerian work culture, which can be highly demanding. As a result, people may choose to leave their attendance status open, intending to decide much closer to the event, long after the RSVP deadline.
RSVP is often perceived as a practice for formal events in Nigeria. The idea of confirming attendance is frequently overlooked for casual or semi-formal events. People may view the RSVP process as overly formal or unnecessary, especially for events within close social or familial networks. The informal nature of social invitations can further erode the importance of responding, even when explicitly requested.
Time perception also plays a significant role in RSVP adherence. In many Nigerian settings, events are often considered flexible regarding time and guest numbers. The concept of “African time” contributes to this phenomenon, where events rarely start as scheduled, and guests can arrive much later than expected. The fluidity of time translates to fluidity in commitment, making RSVP responses feel less urgent.
Despite the cultural differences that hinder the effectiveness of RSVP in Nigeria, there are strategies hosts can adopt to bridge this gap. One approach is establishing more transparent communication and emphasising RSVP’s importance in event invitations. For instance, adding an extra note such as “RSVPs required for accurate catering” may prompt guests to take it more seriously.
Hosts may also leverage technology, using digital invitations that send automated reminders to guests. This could increase the chances of receiving responses, mainly since many Nigerians are now accustomed to mobile technology for various aspects of life. For more significant events, the host must prepare for additional guests, knowing that some people will attend without having RSVPed. Culturally, it is better to have surplus food and seating than to risk being seen as unfriendly. Event planners in Nigeria are well-versed in this cultural nuance and often advise preparing for more guests than confirmed through RSVPs.
RSVP is a practice deeply rooted in Western social etiquette, yet its application in Nigeria remains complicated by cultural differences. Nigerian social customs emphasise inclusiveness, spontaneity, and flexibility, which sometimes clash with the structured nature of RSVP. While the concept is recognised, it is not always adhered to with the same urgency or formality as in other parts of the world. Understanding these cultural nuances can help hosts and guests navigate social expectations more effectively, blending tradition with modern practices for more successful event planning in Nigeria.
What do you think?
TONY ONYIMA, Ph,D, a veteran editor, media manager, author and businessman, lives in Lagos.
