In just over a year, those who claimed President Bola Tinubu was a pro-democracy activist with the powers of a master economic strategist have all faded into oblivion. There is neither democracy nor economic relief in sight. All we have now are hirelings either digging up excuses to explain policy failures or trying to buy more time for the man who “built Lagos” to perfect his plan to capture the Nigerian state and turn it into a private estate.
Reality has set in for both friends and foes of the Tinubu presidency. But let’s cut the president some slack: The real Tinubu has always been in plain sight. A few chose to believe the fictional Tinubu, a creation of well paid spin doctors. The rest were silenced by a dubious electoral victory and a curious judicial verdict. This president is doing exactly what he is hard wired to do. I will explain.
President Tinubu knows only one way of life. It’s the life of the jungle where might is right; where ethics and morality have no place; where only the fittest survive, sometimes by eating the weak and vulnerable. He has lived all his life this way. Some say he took certificates from schools he never attended or graduated from. Others say he took an identity that is not really his. Whatever they say, everyone agrees that Tinubu simply got used to taking what doesn’t belong to him and getting away with it. That’s life on the Serengeti.
When Tinubu gives, it is strictly to buy the souls of men to do his bidding or look the other way. Like when he “gave” the presidency to Muhammadu Buhari and the vice presidency to Yemi Osinbajo in 2015. Those were Greek gifts. Terms and conditions applied.
To underline his deepest convictions, he enunciated the Tinubu Principle during the 2023 electioneering campaigns. He said, “Elections are not served a la carte. You have to grab it, snatch it and run with it.” For the benefit of those who may not understand the French component of that expression, a la carte literally means “according to the menu price.” Originally from 19th century French restaurant culture, it refers to the practice of picking and choosing dishes from a menu according to the size of one’s wallet. By contrast, a diner or customer may order “table d’hote.” That means to order a multi-course menu, with options and side dishes, often at a hefty price. The latter is usually for clients with deep pockets who want to have a feast, whatever it costs.
That’s precisely what Mr. Tinubu means. That’s exactly how Mr. Tinubu plays. He buys whatever he wants in truckloads, at a price that can give a healthy man a heart attack. He was speaking in the specific context of the 2023 elections which he went ahead to procure lock, stock and barrel. We’re all living witnesses to how that transpired.
With his quaint selection of words, Tinubu, though not exactly a man of letters, has earned his place among the pantheon of political philosophers. Now, he sits beside the famous Niccolo Machiavelli, author of The Prince. Machiavelli, it was, who famously wrote that a leader (aka “The Prince”) must do whatever it takes, however despicable or vile, to keep hold of power. In our time, Tinubu has proven to be not just an adept Machiavellian. He has extended and deepened Machiavelli’s thoughts by not just theorizing but demonstrating exactly how to acquire power in the first place – by grabbing it, snatching it and running with it.
In essence, Tinubu neither subscribes to the concept of majority rule nor seeks the greatest good for the greatest number. All he knows is self-actualization and self-preservation. Just as fish cannot survive out of water, Tinubu cannot survive outside the pursuit of narrow self-interests. And just in case anyone missed the point, he also gave us the famous words, Emi Lokan (It’s my turn). Indeed, it’s all about him. Nothing else matters.
President Tinubu has refused to make even the token gesture of cutting down the salaries, allowances and privileges of public office holders as a mark of solidarity with suffering Nigerians on whom he has imposed crushing economic policies. Why? Because Tinubu is not a man accustomed to personal sacrifices. He is a beneficial leader. Not a sacrificial leader. Also, he uses public offices (and the perks that go with them) to buy the loyalty of cronies who do his bidding.
Tinubu perfected this practice in Lagos State where he has used state coffers to build a cult-like political elite since 1999. In reality, Tinubu never ceased to be Governor of Lagos after 2007 when he officially left office after serving two terms. He simply began appointing puppets while holding the strings behind the curtains.
Today, Tinubu has taken the art to a whole new level by pulling the strings of those who pull the strings. For instance, he is pulling the strings of former Governors who are pulling the strings in their states from far away Abuja. Call it Advanced 3D Puppeteering. The plan, clearly, is to roll out 37 puppets across Nigeria as quickly as possible.
If he cuts the “perks” attached to the offices he dispenses, appointees might not be so fiercely loyal, making him vulnerable. So, it makes no sense to expect a man of Tinubu’s temperament to accede to popular calls to cut down on the cost of governance by reducing the number of political appointees and their perks. To do so is to commit political suicide. Certainly not Tinubu.
Another key indicator of the Tinubu persona is his attitude to the workings of the national economy. Clearly, the president does not think highly of economic principles aimed at mass prosperity. He only understands personal prosperity. And his personal prosperity comes from direct and indirect access to government coffers.
So, if Buhari emptied the nation’s till before leaving office, Tinubu must refill the coffers by all means necessary. That includes taxing the hell out of the people and pulling government away from basic public services that put pressure on state finances – however useful to the common folk.
By astronomically jacking up direct and indirect taxes, the Tinubu government has become a major enabler to inflation (which it should be fighting). Even the CBN under Tinubu is raising interest rates at every opportunity. This sends an ominous signal to the market. That’s why prices are out of the roof and climbing daily. No one is sure what their cost of doing business would be overnight. So, out of fear, they push up the prices of their own goods and services. It is no longer about Dollar exchange rates. It is now about fear of Tinubunomics.
This President is also a master of handouts & “palliatives.” Have you noticed that every time the people say they are hungry, Tinubu throws a few bags of grains, cartons of noodles, “student loans” or a “new minimum wage” at them – none of which makes any real difference in their lives? That’s because he doesn’t really want them to be able to fend for themselves. He wants them perpetually dependent on him for survival.
That’s how he gains control over people, including all his acolytes, proxies and “supporters.” Tinubu is a master of the game. He deliberately weaponizes poverty instead of building mass prosperity. That way, people are so poor they are only preoccupied with survival. They are too poor to mobilize against the real enemy. And when he throws a few loaves of bread their way, they are only too happy to scramble for pittance. It’s not a mistake. It’s a choice deliberately made to keep the people down and distracted while preserving his hegemony.
To be fair, this political philosophy is not new. Nor was it invented by Tinubu. It has been practiced in Northern Nigeria since the Jihad of 1804. So, it has worked for 220 years! Tinubu is merely extending a tested and proven ideology to other regions of the country. Soon, all Nigerians (except Tinubu and friends) will be united in multidimensional poverty.
Everyone knows that NNPCL is a principal partner in Nigeria’s current economic woes. Its top brass is steeped in sleaze that fills their private pockets and empties the public till. To cleanse Nigeria, a perfect place to start would be NNPCL. But President Tinubu will not dare. They know too much about his own dealings in the oil industry. If he sacks them, his secrets are no longer safe. In summary, Tinubu is smart not to go against forces who, like him, are part of the problem.
So, it’s a checkmate. Tinubu is too heavily invested in Nigeria’s diseased state to be the surgeon to lead its emergency rescue. There is a fundamental conflict of interest here. But miracles still happen. After all, Zacchaeus the tax collector returned his loot and became a disciple of Jesus. Saul the persecutor of Christians also became an apostle and fiery preacher of the gospel. Will Tinubu defy the odds to repent? Events in Kano, Rivers and the just-concluded Edo State Governorship elections are proof of which way the wind is blowing. Ondo is next.
Tinubu is not a democrat. He is a demagogue who for years masqueraded as a democrat. Today, he represents the greatest single danger to genuine democracy in Nigeria since 1960. Beside him, Gen Sani Abacha suddenly looks like a boy scout. Clearly, with Tinubu, Nigerians are wrestling “not against flesh and blood but against principalities… in high places.”
Let me close with a parable. There once lived a woman of easy virtue who took up residence in a brothel at a very young age. Day and night, she warmed the beds for every man who cared to pay her fees. Then, one day, the owner of the brothel where she lived died, leaving neither offspring nor will. So, residents of the brothel decided to find a new leader from among themselves. Being one of its oldest and well known residents, Sisi Bolanle decided to offer her services as leader of the brothel. She said it was her turn.
But there was a little problem: Some preachers had come into town, wearing long white robes, ringing loud bells and preaching a new way of life. Many in the city and at the brothel were drawn to the preachers. Their hearts ached for a new and better life away from the cesspool of sin. An old wily fox, Sisi Bolanle quickly realized that to improve her chances of emerging as leader she had to join the growing crowds who chanted ‘Hallelujah!.’ So, join she did. But, secretly, with the help of a powerful witchdoctor, she cast a spell on all her fellow brothel dwellers to emerge as leader. When the preachers and their followers sought audience with Sisi Bolanle to remind her that they once changed Hallelujah together, she said she needed more time to settle down on her new job. Meanwhile, the business of sin resumed with new gusto at the brothel and the entire red lights district. Brothel dwellers are now anxious saying, “What does the future hold?”
Nigeria is the brothel. Nigerians are brothel dwellers in the business of sin. Tinubu is Sisi Bolanle who took over the brothel in a moment of leadership vacuum. The gospel preachers are politicians like Peter Obi and Omoyele Sowore who are championing a new way of life. Their followers are ordinary Nigerians living with the horrors of sin and yearning for redemption.
The question is, can a man who built a thriving career from sin be reasonably expected to chart a different path from that which he took to “success”? Whatever your answer is, Nigeria has found a match for Niccolo Machiavelli.
ANAZONWU, a media and communication strategist, writes from Lagos.
