As we commemorate International Women’s Day 2025, themed “Accelerate Action-Rights, Equality and Empowerment for all women and girls” this Saturday 8th March, 2025. It is imperative to reflect on the significance of supporting women and the girl child, especially in the context of enduring patriarchy and misogyny in Nigeria and globally.
This year’s theme urges us to expedite our efforts toward achieving gender equality, a goal that remains elusive despite decades of advocacy and progress no thanks to a world that has long been structured around male dominance. It is increasingly obvious, that despite the progress made in gender equality, many men still struggle to see women as their equals and even the little that has been achieved, is being systematically curtailed as there are growing calls and support for policies and legislation to undermine women by curtailing their political, social and economic rights. The quashing of abortion rights and the introduction of a Bill targeting married women from voting due to the change in their last names in the United States is a grave indication that the world still has a long way to go regarding equality for women in politics, workplaces, religious institutions, the marketplace and the home.
What makes it doubly disheartening is the fact that some women believe the narrative that a woman is less than a man and that her best use and occupation is in the home attending to her husband and children’s needs. Patriarchy is deeply woven into our cultural fabric. From childhood, boys are told they are “strong” while girls are told they are “soft.” Boys are praised for being assertive, but when girls show the same confidence, they are often called “bossy” or “stubborn.” These small but constant reinforcements shape how men view themselves in relation to women. In Nigeria, it’s not unusual to hear statements like “A woman’s place is in the kitchen” or “A man is the head of the home.” These ideas are passed down as facts, despite the reality that women today are CEOs, politicians, scientists, and leaders in every sphere. The result? Many men grow up believing that a woman’s role is secondary to theirs, and any deviation from this is seen as a threat.
Let’s be honest: accepting equality means relinquishing certain privileges. When women gain access to the same opportunities, men who have long benefited from an imbalanced system begin to feel their advantages slipping away. Some resist this shift not because they hate women, but because they fear losing control. A great example is the political arena where men for centuries have dominated and women find it very difficult to participate as equal players without kowtowing to the men as benefactors or being victims of sexual harassment. A case in point is that of Senator Natasha Akpoti-Uduaghan who recently accused the senate president of sexually harassing her. In Nigeria women account for 6.7% of elected political officers, less than 40% of senior judicial officials are women and the number of women in the executive is minimal . The fear is not necessarily that women are incapable, but rather that if women are truly equal, men will have to share power—and many are not ready for that.
Religion plays a major role in how people view gender roles. Many religious teachings are misinterpreted to reinforce male dominance. Some men believe they have the divine right to lead and that women must follow, even when the woman is more capable. I recently watched a video where an American pastor Joel Webbon stated that he didn’t want to see women in public spheres which included political offices, podcasts, marketplaces and 9-5 careers because his religion states so . Also case in point is Iran which has banned women from every social, political and economic activity.
Social reinforcement also keeps inequality alive. When a woman rises to a leadership position, people question how she got there: “Who helped her?” “Did she sleep her way to the top?” But when a man rises, no one asks these questions. Society still finds ways to undermine women’s achievements, making it harder for men to accept that women have earned their place.
The word Feminist may have been radicalized but foolish is the woman who will not stand up for her gender, who repeats the rhetoric of men who say that a women who wants and deserves more from her existence is a rebellious woman, who will pander to men and their agendas because of what they will gain personally.
The questions all women should ask is, what is it about the idea of women standing shoulder to shoulder with men that makes so many uncomfortable and more importantly, How do we start raising boys who won’t carry this bias into the future?
If we want a future where men and women are truly equal, we have to start with the next generation. We cannot keep waiting for adult men to unlearn biases they have carried for decades. The best way forward is to raise boys who see women differently from the start.
We must stop the subtle but powerful ways we teach boys to see themselves as superior. Instead of telling a boy “Don’t cry, be a man,” let’s teach him that emotions are human, not male or female. Instead of only buying toy cars and superhero figures for boys and dolls for girls, let’s allow children to explore different interests without labeling them as “for boys” or “for girls.”
Children learn more from what they see than what they are told. If a boy grows up in a home where his father treats his mother with respect, values her opinions, and shares responsibilities, he is more likely to see women as equals. If he sees his mother making decisions, earning her own money, and being treated with dignity, he will understand that women are not subordinates.
Parents need to be intentional. Fathers should cook sometimes. Mothers should be seen leading in ways that show their strength. Boys should be taught to do house chores just like girls. When we normalize this at home, boys grow up without the mindset that a woman’s role is to serve and that men are helping their wives when they do tasks at home.
From a young age, boys need to learn that women are not objects to be conquered, controlled, or owned. Consent is not just about sexual relationships—it’s about respecting a woman’s choices in all areas of life. If a girl says she doesn’t want to play a game, a boy should be taught to respect that. If a woman in a position of power makes a decision, boys should be taught to respect her authority just as they would a male leader’s.
Many boys grow up seeing only male authority figures. We should introduce them to stories of powerful, intelligent women in history and present-day society. Let them read about women like Funmilayo Ransome-Kuti, and other strong women who have made an impact. When boys see that women are capable, intelligent, and influential, they begin to internalize that women are not “less than” but just as deserving of leadership and success.
Sometimes, boys develop biased views of women because they grow up seeing girls as “other.” Encouraging boys to play, work, and learn alongside girls without treating them differently helps break these barriers early.
The struggle for gender equality is not about making men powerless or emasculating them —it is about creating a fair and just world where both men and women can thrive. We do not raise boys to fear women; we raise them to respect women. We do not teach boys that equality means they will lose; we show them that when women succeed, society as a whole succeeds. It’s time to let go of the outdated idea that empowering women somehow diminishes men. A boy who learns that his sister’s dreams matter just as much as his own will grow into a man who supports women in the workplace, in leadership, and in society. And that is the future we should all be working toward.
A woman is not a man neither is she less than a man.
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AISIDA writes for this is lagos online where she first published this article.
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