By Victor Anazonwu
On August 3, 2024—the day he would have turned 90—I shared Five Lessons My Father Taught Me. A year has passed. And today, on what would have been his 91st birthday, I’m drawn again to the quiet wisdom of the man I was blessed to call Dad.
Here are four more life lessons he lived and passed on—lessons that have stood the test of time in my own life
Write It Down—Don’t Leave It to Memory
My father was a meticulous man. In our home, diaries and reporter’s notebooks were a constant presence—often filled with his unmistakable cursive handwriting. He believed in writing things down: to-do lists for the day, goals for the week, even major ambitions for the year.
Pinned boldly to his wardrobe door each January was a singular goal he aimed to achieve that year. He picked up the habit in the 1960s as a young stenographer preparing for a career in the Civil Service, eventually rising to serve closely with the Premier and Military Administrator of Eastern Nigeria.
Once I asked why he kept this routine. He replied simply, “It forces you to plan each day and each week in advance. It helps you to take action and achieve more.” I took the cue in my early teens. And I can attest: it works.
Every Child is Yours—Treat Them With Kindness
Our home was rarely just for us. Cousins, nephews, nieces, and even neighbors’ children often filled our space. There was always one or two “visiting,” yet no child ever felt like a guest. My father treated every one of them like his own—firm but kind, attentive but never overbearing.
As we grew older and moved out, a new generation of neighborhood children adopted him as their favorite grown-up. They called him “Daadi”—just like we did. He always had biscuits, sweets, and kind words ready for them. When I asked why, he said: “Children are like angels. If you keep them close, you keep God close.”
Dream Big, But Live Within Your Means
Dad was a dreamer—but a practical one. He often asked: “So, what are your plans?” He believed goal-setting wasn’t just for adults—it was for anyone who hoped to grow, regardless of age or circumstance.
But alongside that big-picture thinking was a deep respect for frugality. “If you earn ten,” he often said, “live like you earn seven.” His life, marked by steady progress from modest beginnings to a respected legal and civil service career, proved that wealth is not in display, but in discipline. “Faking it to make it,” he warned, was just reckless optimism in disguise.
Share Core Values or Keep Your Distance
My father respected diversity. But when it came to choosing close friends or a life partner, he was clear: values must align.
He and Mum always wanted to know who we spent time with—and weren’t shy to say if they disapproved. As frustrating as it was then, it taught us to be intentional about relationships. His words about marriage still ring in my ears:
“Marriage is a vehicle with only forward gears. In this family, there’s no reverse. So don’t marry someone whose worst behavior you can’t live with.”
These aren’t just memories—they are guiding principles I’ve leaned on for decades. Perhaps they’ll do the same for someone else. After all, true fatherhood, like true wisdom, doesn’t end with one generation.
Happy birthday, Dad.
